Critique Essay: Why can’t it be?
Jamaica E.Collado
The story was about Ellie and his heartbroken experience to a woman named Angela the daughter of his dad’s best friend. Angela was forced to marry the billionaire businessman named Nathan Lucero to save their family business which was in trouble that time.
This was how the story started. in the same restaurant where Ellie was broke up by his ex-girlfriend he saw Angela for the first time, who was crying that time also. While he was stared Angela there is something in her caught her attention that he couldn’t explain what. Though Ellie doesn’t know Angela yet because of curiosity he didn’t hesitate to come over and offered a handkerchief for her to wipe her tears that covers her face which Ellie wanted her to do so that he could see her face. He asked if he could set beside her. Angela just looked at him and goes away. After that incident Ellie did not expect to see her again.
On his father funeral he was surprise because of the fact that Angela was the daughter of his dad’s best friend he wasn’t to know because he was busy managing his restaurant in Global City. Since then he could not erase Angela into her mind and he always wanted to see her so he courted her. Angela accepted him. They were happy and so much in love. They treasure each day of their happy and sweet memories together, Ellie couldn’t ask for more because he was very happy to have Angela and he was praying that they would be together forever or until his last breath.
On day everything seemed to change, Angel has changed specially her attitude towards Ellie. Ellie was wondered so he was asked Angela, he found out that Angela’s family business was in trouble. Upon knowing it he didn’t hesitate to help her. Angela accepted his offer so she worked as a manager in one off his restaurant. She does well in work and Ellie was happy because he could be with Angela every day and in last for two weeks. We was surprised when one day Angela gives her resignation letter including a personal letter for Ellie and a check worth 1.5 million pesos as a payment for his help Angela’s family.
He tried to contact Angela and find her everywhere but she was gone. He was very depressed so he isolates himself. One day his mother delivered him news, there he found out that Angela and Nathan Lucero a billionaire businessman will soon to marry. The whole world of Ellie was collapsed. He was terribly hurt, his dream to be with Angela forever has disappeared and he could no longer think what to do next.
He was standing alone outside the church while he watched his beloved woman together with another man making their vows. He felt the pain as if her heart was squeezed that was the most painful moment in his life. After the weeding to the couple this time he was recovered although the pain was still there. He was ready to let go Angela this time. He greeted the couple and go away.
After two years in the park, they saw each other again. Angela and Nathan have a daughter already while he has his fiancée which he calls “my one great love”.
Character:
The main character in the story was Ellie. The writher describes Ellie’s identity. Based on what I have read she mentioned the name, sex and nationality hence she was not able to give the exact age which lead me to confuse. The writer failed to describe how does the main character looks like which was I think the lack “ingredient” of his identity so I just don’t know if he is handsome or ugly. The dominant impression of the main character is though he failed in love which is beloved girlfriend married to another man to save her family business and cause him so much pain and suffering still he was able to move on and go on with his life. He was not selfish because he respect Angela’s decision even though it was very hard in his part. He was a strong a strong personality with full of courage because she was able to survived even in the darkest park of his life.
The writer gives emphasis on totally of Angela’s character in which she mentions its outside appearance, sex, name but I don’t know the exact age. When it comes to another character the writer just introduce them but without names. The character was involved in external conflict because the conflict started with Ellie’s girlfriend, Angela who changes her attitude towards Ellie. The writer started her story with a climax where she described the present event which was Ellie was watching Angela making vows with another man or the very worst event for Ellie that brought the story into intensifying action. It follows by a flashback, an exposition in which the cause of everything was described including where does Ellie and Angela first meet, what happened when they saw each other again.
The conflict starts with Angela changes her attitude towards Ellie while the rising action begins then Angela resigned in Ellie’s company which added the burden to Ellie and changes course of event. The conflict was emphasized by the rising action where the problem was being action worst. The Climax was an event where Angela finally married to Nathan which Ellie had witnessed. It includes falling action which Ellie finally let go Angela and accepted there reality that they were really not meant for each other. The conclusion takes place when Ellie moves on and found his fiancée and he finally answered hid ultimate question “Why Can’t it be?”
It was the first person narrator or the point of view of the “I” and “me”. The one who talked was the one who experienced that event or the story that was being told was its own story. If the story were told from another point of view there were sure changes first change would be the pronouns, instead of I and me, it will be change to He or She, another is the manner of narrating the events will be change also. Perhaps the writer was being inspired by her own experience that is why she chose this point of view.
I think the writer has a positive outlook in life that in everything happened there was a reason and purpose. She has wide views because based on the story, she had given a difficult scenario but then she was able to give the solution. Perhaps the writer has this characteristic of being a fighter in which “no matter what happened, life must go on”, she can’t beat immediately and problem could never let her down easily.
Though I like the story I felt hang because, I think the story was forcedly ended but then it gives encouragement that when you failed in love it doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world. Everything is just a trial and there is a reason for everything. I was inspired by Ellie because of his action that he respects Angela’s decision though it hurts. He didn’t take any revenge against his ex-girlfriend though it sounds like he was betrayed and in spite of his effort to help Angela and her family business still he understood where Angela comes from and Ellie consider her feeling. Angela is an example of a weak personality because she took for granted Ellie, why did she go away? Without explaining, Ellie might give her an option to solve her problem.
Angela’s love was not that faithful and pure because she chose to marry another man, she didn’t want to sacrifice that much though she love Ellie. I could relate to the story because some events that make me recall of something. Ellie was not selfish because he sacrifice for Angela’s happiness which justified the saying “love is sacrifice and it is not selfish” as I always heard. In reality the story was happened it might not happen exactly the same but it was related.
In terms of grammar, I have noticed that there were errors. In the first line of the first paragraph instead, of “in front of” she used “at the front of”. There were missing punctuation marks and misused of it as well. I have seen the following errors first, redundant words like in the second line of the second paragraph, the word “her” was over used, few errors in tenses like, instead of “ I brought her home and I went straight to my pad” she used “…….. and I go straight to my pad” which was a past event already but still she used present form of the verb. There was improper use of capitalization as well, in fifth line of the sixth paragraph the word “and” was capitalize which was incorrect it is a conjunction and usually it is usually written in small letter. There were unnecessary words included and missing words as well. I also noticed wrong choices of words which was not suited for the expression that was being described. To sum it up my rate is 89%.
This was how the story started. in the same restaurant where Ellie was broke up by his ex-girlfriend he saw Angela for the first time, who was crying that time also. While he was stared Angela there is something in her caught her attention that he couldn’t explain what. Though Ellie doesn’t know Angela yet because of curiosity he didn’t hesitate to come over and offered a handkerchief for her to wipe her tears that covers her face which Ellie wanted her to do so that he could see her face. He asked if he could set beside her. Angela just looked at him and goes away. After that incident Ellie did not expect to see her again.
On his father funeral he was surprise because of the fact that Angela was the daughter of his dad’s best friend he wasn’t to know because he was busy managing his restaurant in Global City. Since then he could not erase Angela into her mind and he always wanted to see her so he courted her. Angela accepted him. They were happy and so much in love. They treasure each day of their happy and sweet memories together, Ellie couldn’t ask for more because he was very happy to have Angela and he was praying that they would be together forever or until his last breath.
On day everything seemed to change, Angel has changed specially her attitude towards Ellie. Ellie was wondered so he was asked Angela, he found out that Angela’s family business was in trouble. Upon knowing it he didn’t hesitate to help her. Angela accepted his offer so she worked as a manager in one off his restaurant. She does well in work and Ellie was happy because he could be with Angela every day and in last for two weeks. We was surprised when one day Angela gives her resignation letter including a personal letter for Ellie and a check worth 1.5 million pesos as a payment for his help Angela’s family.
He tried to contact Angela and find her everywhere but she was gone. He was very depressed so he isolates himself. One day his mother delivered him news, there he found out that Angela and Nathan Lucero a billionaire businessman will soon to marry. The whole world of Ellie was collapsed. He was terribly hurt, his dream to be with Angela forever has disappeared and he could no longer think what to do next.
He was standing alone outside the church while he watched his beloved woman together with another man making their vows. He felt the pain as if her heart was squeezed that was the most painful moment in his life. After the weeding to the couple this time he was recovered although the pain was still there. He was ready to let go Angela this time. He greeted the couple and go away.
After two years in the park, they saw each other again. Angela and Nathan have a daughter already while he has his fiancée which he calls “my one great love”.
Character:
The main character in the story was Ellie. The writher describes Ellie’s identity. Based on what I have read she mentioned the name, sex and nationality hence she was not able to give the exact age which lead me to confuse. The writer failed to describe how does the main character looks like which was I think the lack “ingredient” of his identity so I just don’t know if he is handsome or ugly. The dominant impression of the main character is though he failed in love which is beloved girlfriend married to another man to save her family business and cause him so much pain and suffering still he was able to move on and go on with his life. He was not selfish because he respect Angela’s decision even though it was very hard in his part. He was a strong a strong personality with full of courage because she was able to survived even in the darkest park of his life.
The writer gives emphasis on totally of Angela’s character in which she mentions its outside appearance, sex, name but I don’t know the exact age. When it comes to another character the writer just introduce them but without names. The character was involved in external conflict because the conflict started with Ellie’s girlfriend, Angela who changes her attitude towards Ellie. The writer started her story with a climax where she described the present event which was Ellie was watching Angela making vows with another man or the very worst event for Ellie that brought the story into intensifying action. It follows by a flashback, an exposition in which the cause of everything was described including where does Ellie and Angela first meet, what happened when they saw each other again.
The conflict starts with Angela changes her attitude towards Ellie while the rising action begins then Angela resigned in Ellie’s company which added the burden to Ellie and changes course of event. The conflict was emphasized by the rising action where the problem was being action worst. The Climax was an event where Angela finally married to Nathan which Ellie had witnessed. It includes falling action which Ellie finally let go Angela and accepted there reality that they were really not meant for each other. The conclusion takes place when Ellie moves on and found his fiancée and he finally answered hid ultimate question “Why Can’t it be?”
It was the first person narrator or the point of view of the “I” and “me”. The one who talked was the one who experienced that event or the story that was being told was its own story. If the story were told from another point of view there were sure changes first change would be the pronouns, instead of I and me, it will be change to He or She, another is the manner of narrating the events will be change also. Perhaps the writer was being inspired by her own experience that is why she chose this point of view.
I think the writer has a positive outlook in life that in everything happened there was a reason and purpose. She has wide views because based on the story, she had given a difficult scenario but then she was able to give the solution. Perhaps the writer has this characteristic of being a fighter in which “no matter what happened, life must go on”, she can’t beat immediately and problem could never let her down easily.
Though I like the story I felt hang because, I think the story was forcedly ended but then it gives encouragement that when you failed in love it doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world. Everything is just a trial and there is a reason for everything. I was inspired by Ellie because of his action that he respects Angela’s decision though it hurts. He didn’t take any revenge against his ex-girlfriend though it sounds like he was betrayed and in spite of his effort to help Angela and her family business still he understood where Angela comes from and Ellie consider her feeling. Angela is an example of a weak personality because she took for granted Ellie, why did she go away? Without explaining, Ellie might give her an option to solve her problem.
Angela’s love was not that faithful and pure because she chose to marry another man, she didn’t want to sacrifice that much though she love Ellie. I could relate to the story because some events that make me recall of something. Ellie was not selfish because he sacrifice for Angela’s happiness which justified the saying “love is sacrifice and it is not selfish” as I always heard. In reality the story was happened it might not happen exactly the same but it was related.
In terms of grammar, I have noticed that there were errors. In the first line of the first paragraph instead, of “in front of” she used “at the front of”. There were missing punctuation marks and misused of it as well. I have seen the following errors first, redundant words like in the second line of the second paragraph, the word “her” was over used, few errors in tenses like, instead of “ I brought her home and I went straight to my pad” she used “…….. and I go straight to my pad” which was a past event already but still she used present form of the verb. There was improper use of capitalization as well, in fifth line of the sixth paragraph the word “and” was capitalize which was incorrect it is a conjunction and usually it is usually written in small letter. There were unnecessary words included and missing words as well. I also noticed wrong choices of words which was not suited for the expression that was being described. To sum it up my rate is 89%.