In one barrio near the shore there was a humble rich man named Don Lupo who loved children, Don Lupo owns some fish pond where the children can go fishing. In the shore you can see the beauty of nature white sand, beautiful pebbles and clear water of the sea. Don Lupo let the children go fishing in the fish pond. Especially the four kids named Ana, Marie, Roy and Nicko. Don Lupo loved the children because he remembers his grandchildren in the four kids. He always asks his caretaker to cook for the children while the child goes fishing. The old man is very humble, because every weekend he didn’t harvest all the fish in his fishpond indeed he left one fish pond where can children go fishing every weekend, instead of Don Lupo he wants to call by Lolo Lupo.
Every weekend the fishpond is full of laughter, when the children is tired Don Lupo ate together with the children, Don lupo misses his children so much. He said to the children.
“I really miss my grandchildren they were in abroad before they were having vacation heren but now they were teenagers.”
On Don Lupo’s house, Don lupo is enjoying his happy stories. Don Lupo serves special food like fried tilapia, chapseuy, banana, guyabano, and dalandan fruits. The four kids want to enjoy the whole Saturdays; they want to go back near the shore. Roy asks permission to Don lupo but Don lupo said that the sea is dangerous for swimming.
Marie told don Lupo that they want to see the beauty of the sea and they will not attempt to swim nicko insisted, Don Lupo agree and warn the children. All of the sudden Roy was drowning in the sea and cast by the big waves. Ana ran quickly to Don Lupo’s house to ask help. Don Lupo’s commanded his caretaker to saved Roy. Don Lupo commanded his caretaker to save Roy, Finally Roy was saved. The children say thank you to the caretaker and realize that Don Lupo is right after that they pack things and they go home.
She is the one telling the story and she didn’t involve herself in the story. The character is great most of the dialogue doing action and has participation to make the story beautiful even it’s omniscient, the author made the characters alive until the end no sad tragedy endings. The author made Don lupo act as a humble, rich, and old man and the role of the four kids is a hardheaded so she could create a climax. If she made the four kids a good one it will make him hard to her to end the story, as I was saying the short story is direct to the point.
Don lupo’s roleis to give lesson to the four hardheaded kids; I could say that the main characters of the story is Don Lupo. Because he is the one who give fun to the children. Without the role of Don lupo there is no weekend fun. The kids were just paraphernalia to make the story more exited to read. It’s just my opinion but most of them they does an important role. The caretaker also has a great role he is the one who saved Roy from drowning he is the one who make the happy ending, if he didn’t saved Roy the end of the story is tragic. So that’s why he plays an important role.
The four hardheaded kids were also great they are the one having a weekend fun in the story, without them weekend fun is not the title of the story. When I read the story I imagined that they were an ordinary kids with young mind so they need guide and in the reality were stubborn it makes them harm. They put themselves in danger so that’s what happens to Roy in the story, Roy ignores Don Lupo’s warning but in the end he was saved, that’s what the lesson for the children who would read the story.
She started her story by describing the setting. Next is the characteristics of the characters in the story, she describes Don lupo as rich kind old man. the opening incident of the story when the four kids disobeyed Don lupo’s warning that the sea is dangerous for swimming , the rising action of the story when Roy cast away by the big waves and ana saw Roy was drowning in the sea, the conflict of the story is when Roy is drowning in the sea. The falling action is when the story is when the caretaker saved Roy from drowning, and the four kids realize that they were wrong to disobeyed rules.
The sequence of the story is not organized. He put her conflict in first paragraph. At first she introduces the characters. Don lupo, the kids and the caretaker. The kids want to enjoy their weekend that might be the reason why its title is weekend fun. The author tells how kind, thoughtful and humble Don Lupo is before he puts the conflict in her story after that he introduces the caretaker of Don lupo the one who save Roy from danger. The author end her story by realizing some moral lesson.
As you read her piece she followed the right patter in making her short story from exposition down to conclusion but in the rising action she can’t express it well. Maybe he needs to improve or to know the feeling of the reader in order to have a good rising action that will make the reader more motivated and curious in the story. And the climaxes were not convincing the readers. The author should make it horrible to make the story more exited to read.
Omniscient person mean you are the one telling in the story, while limited you are using HE/SHE , In the story the author is like narrating, she didn’t involve herself in her work maybe the author are good writers when in terms in fairy tales and children’s book. And I can notice that the author likes children so much.
When I read the story, I was shocked because he put her conflict at the beginning; the story has a moral story. but I have check the grammar were wrong and most of her words are unfamiliar that a child can’t understand for example triumphant conqueror, so I suggest to her she should use simple English so that the reader can easily understand her writings specially the children and her conflicts in the story are wrong grammar it should be, Ana saw Roy drowning. And the climax is not appealing to the readers. It looks like the authors easily end the story.
Maybe the story will be appreciated by others, some of the parts of the story needs improvement in writing because it’s hard to understand you should read it 3 times enable to understand, the flow of the story is grammatically incorrect. She should be careful in choosing words in her literary piece, because her story focuses mostly on children. But the whole story is good, I suggest after you write something it should be seen by others first, as writers not all thetime we cannot tell the readers feeling.
Here are some errors in her story, the rising action, climax and the falling action. I let my parents to read his writing and they said that in writing a short story, you should know the interest of the reader; the author should be sensitive on what the reader would tell about your piece. The author has a large vocabulary, she can use a deeper words. It was my first time to encounter those words most of the story I read they use simple English.
In writing a short story the author should insert lots of emotion and emotions and imagination on the beginning of the story I can say that the author is idealistic because he vies the mabini, batangas as almost perfect, she didn’t say negative about the place idealistic.
Every weekend the fishpond is full of laughter, when the children is tired Don Lupo ate together with the children, Don lupo misses his children so much. He said to the children.
“I really miss my grandchildren they were in abroad before they were having vacation heren but now they were teenagers.”
On Don Lupo’s house, Don lupo is enjoying his happy stories. Don Lupo serves special food like fried tilapia, chapseuy, banana, guyabano, and dalandan fruits. The four kids want to enjoy the whole Saturdays; they want to go back near the shore. Roy asks permission to Don lupo but Don lupo said that the sea is dangerous for swimming.
Marie told don Lupo that they want to see the beauty of the sea and they will not attempt to swim nicko insisted, Don Lupo agree and warn the children. All of the sudden Roy was drowning in the sea and cast by the big waves. Ana ran quickly to Don Lupo’s house to ask help. Don Lupo’s commanded his caretaker to saved Roy. Don Lupo commanded his caretaker to save Roy, Finally Roy was saved. The children say thank you to the caretaker and realize that Don Lupo is right after that they pack things and they go home.
She is the one telling the story and she didn’t involve herself in the story. The character is great most of the dialogue doing action and has participation to make the story beautiful even it’s omniscient, the author made the characters alive until the end no sad tragedy endings. The author made Don lupo act as a humble, rich, and old man and the role of the four kids is a hardheaded so she could create a climax. If she made the four kids a good one it will make him hard to her to end the story, as I was saying the short story is direct to the point.
Don lupo’s roleis to give lesson to the four hardheaded kids; I could say that the main characters of the story is Don Lupo. Because he is the one who give fun to the children. Without the role of Don lupo there is no weekend fun. The kids were just paraphernalia to make the story more exited to read. It’s just my opinion but most of them they does an important role. The caretaker also has a great role he is the one who saved Roy from drowning he is the one who make the happy ending, if he didn’t saved Roy the end of the story is tragic. So that’s why he plays an important role.
The four hardheaded kids were also great they are the one having a weekend fun in the story, without them weekend fun is not the title of the story. When I read the story I imagined that they were an ordinary kids with young mind so they need guide and in the reality were stubborn it makes them harm. They put themselves in danger so that’s what happens to Roy in the story, Roy ignores Don Lupo’s warning but in the end he was saved, that’s what the lesson for the children who would read the story.
She started her story by describing the setting. Next is the characteristics of the characters in the story, she describes Don lupo as rich kind old man. the opening incident of the story when the four kids disobeyed Don lupo’s warning that the sea is dangerous for swimming , the rising action of the story when Roy cast away by the big waves and ana saw Roy was drowning in the sea, the conflict of the story is when Roy is drowning in the sea. The falling action is when the story is when the caretaker saved Roy from drowning, and the four kids realize that they were wrong to disobeyed rules.
The sequence of the story is not organized. He put her conflict in first paragraph. At first she introduces the characters. Don lupo, the kids and the caretaker. The kids want to enjoy their weekend that might be the reason why its title is weekend fun. The author tells how kind, thoughtful and humble Don Lupo is before he puts the conflict in her story after that he introduces the caretaker of Don lupo the one who save Roy from danger. The author end her story by realizing some moral lesson.
As you read her piece she followed the right patter in making her short story from exposition down to conclusion but in the rising action she can’t express it well. Maybe he needs to improve or to know the feeling of the reader in order to have a good rising action that will make the reader more motivated and curious in the story. And the climaxes were not convincing the readers. The author should make it horrible to make the story more exited to read.
Omniscient person mean you are the one telling in the story, while limited you are using HE/SHE , In the story the author is like narrating, she didn’t involve herself in her work maybe the author are good writers when in terms in fairy tales and children’s book. And I can notice that the author likes children so much.
When I read the story, I was shocked because he put her conflict at the beginning; the story has a moral story. but I have check the grammar were wrong and most of her words are unfamiliar that a child can’t understand for example triumphant conqueror, so I suggest to her she should use simple English so that the reader can easily understand her writings specially the children and her conflicts in the story are wrong grammar it should be, Ana saw Roy drowning. And the climax is not appealing to the readers. It looks like the authors easily end the story.
Maybe the story will be appreciated by others, some of the parts of the story needs improvement in writing because it’s hard to understand you should read it 3 times enable to understand, the flow of the story is grammatically incorrect. She should be careful in choosing words in her literary piece, because her story focuses mostly on children. But the whole story is good, I suggest after you write something it should be seen by others first, as writers not all thetime we cannot tell the readers feeling.
Here are some errors in her story, the rising action, climax and the falling action. I let my parents to read his writing and they said that in writing a short story, you should know the interest of the reader; the author should be sensitive on what the reader would tell about your piece. The author has a large vocabulary, she can use a deeper words. It was my first time to encounter those words most of the story I read they use simple English.
In writing a short story the author should insert lots of emotion and emotions and imagination on the beginning of the story I can say that the author is idealistic because he vies the mabini, batangas as almost perfect, she didn’t say negative about the place idealistic.